Friday, August 3, 2012


I believe that I have a bit of insomnia type tendencies, but I don't think I have full-on insomnia, if that makes any sense. So it is almost midnight and I have no desire whatsoever to fall asleep (or even attempt for that matter) so instead I figured why not write out my thoughts as I sit here with my alarm set for 6:30 tomorrow morning, knowing that it will not happen, haha!

I guess I have always been more of a nocturnal person by nature, in high school I would frequently do homework late at night or just be up reading or watching TV and have no problem waking up bright and early for school the next day. Most of the time I feel the most productive at night, weird I know. But now a days those late nights really catch up with me, especially having two high energy boys around! Lately I have found myself in a funk of sorts and I need to get out of it ASAP. My motivation has seemingly disappeared and I need to locate it now! I had planned to get back into working out this summer and that hasn't happened (I was previously doing a Jillian Michaels workout DVD), I didn't do much of the putting away and organization of our new home that I had planned to do and I also didn't do much of the fun activities I wanted to do with my boys this summer either.

I have to admit that I love my job, I am a teacher and am truly blessed to do something that I love and also have as much time as I can with my boys. But since I have either been in school or teaching most of my life, I have always had the summers off and I feel like I always revert back to the schedule of going to sleep late and then being out of sorts the next day during the summer time. I am really trying to work on it since my return to work is just around the corner, but I feel as though I am struggling with how to make this happen.

Today I find my funk made worse by the fact that my oldest son has left on vacation with my parents, brother and sister-in-law to visit family in Texas and attend a quincinera. Normally I would have gone with them but the hours and hours in the car do not sound like my cup of tea right now (airfare is out since we just bought our home) and I have to return to work soon and needed to get some things in order there. So here I am at home and they are in route set to arrive at around three in the morning and I don't think I will sleep a wink until my phone buzzes with the text from my mom saying they have safely arrived. I miss him like crazy, he spent the night last night and I didn't want to leave when I was dropping him off. This is the most time I have ever spent apart from him. I know he will make great memories (I have wonderful memories of going to texas when I was younger) and enjoy it which is why I had to let him go, not to mention he gets along so well with my cousins' son- they both have a great love of star wars- but it's hard none the less.

Enough rambling for one night, hopefully I will get my act together soon!!! :)

p.s. I am kind of kicking myself in the butt right now for not sending our video camera with them so I could see what he did while he was there :(